in class comedy

After putting together my Election day post, I realized I hadn't done a good "Funny things my professors say" post in awhile. Even ratemyprofessors.com just added a "quotes" section to their site.

So, here we go:

Steve Healey (American Lit) Quotes:

"I hope you all agree that all of the things I say have some vague relationship to the truth."

"This is a story about a funeral happening in the speaker's brain. This is not just a story. This is a really weird story."

"If you try to diagram this sentence it will take you all afternoon and give you a large headache."

"Let me just clarify that just because you feel sorry for a character doesn't mean you don't think they're stupid."

[After the class has been discussing furiously for an hour] "I think we just need to have a moment of introspection. All of you need to sit still for, like, a minute."

"Everything that goes wrong today is because I rode my bike here...I'm trying to save the planet!"

"They create a synergy. (Pause). I love that word."

Genevive Escure (Analysis of the English Language) Quotes:

[After "The Quibbler" makes lame joke and chuckles to himself] "I'm not making jokes about linguistics."

Henriette Warren (Child Psych.) Quotes:

(about her PowerPoint) "They tend to be pretty boring, the 'Today's Agenda' slide. I need to sexy those up or something."

As you can see, there hasn't been a ton of comedy in my lectures so far this year. I like all my classes, but I miss the days of John Watkins and Gabriel Weisberg that had me scribbling quotes in the margins of my notes everyday. I should just pick classes based on the comedy factor.