Professors say the darndest things

It occurred to me as I was going through some papers today that I haven't done a "funny professor quotes" blog in awhile, and I even forgot to post one after I took that awesome May Session class on Documentary film. So here it is, along with some good ones from my Brit Lit professor:

First, Prof. Gregg...

"One of my hugest most nasty pet peeves is people who dress up as Ben Franklin."

"It's not Shrek! It's Mike Myers doing funny voices!"

(After it is revealed that no one in class has seen Star Wars)
"Hang your heads in shame."

"My brother (and this is a story about my brother, not about me)..."

"Now, we don't memorize jack. I don't know what my wife's cell phone number is. I know it's under 'R.' I know it has a 4 in it. Maybe an 8."

"I've seen this movie 15-20 times. I can't get enough of it. I have to make myself NOT watch it." (I think he was talking about Kooyanisqatsi)

"I had a roommate and his name was Pete, which is my name so we called him Ron."

"You've probably never seen a hammer lift itself up and pound in a nail. And if you ever do, you should leave...you should go somewhere else...and maybe get some help."

"I don't know of a single movie everybody likes...not even The Care Bears Movie."

And now for Prof. Tandy...

"There's a new [Jane Austen] movie starring Anne Hathaway, who I am thoroughly sick of...I think I'm mad on Julie Andrews' behalf for being dragged into those stupid princess movies."

"When I was a kid, I had an imaginary friend named Tracy. At an appropriate age, I grew out of having imaginary friends. In college, I had a friend named Tracy who I fell out of touch with. Now, one day, my mom calls me and says 'I ran into Tracy yesterday.' Of course, she meant my college friend but my mind didn't go there. My first thought was 'Wait...she isn't real' and my second thought was 'Or is she?' and my third thought was 'If she is real, what has she been doing all these years?'?"

(On Victor Frankenstein not trying to hunt down his monster)
"He doesn't even try! I mean, come on, Victor!"

(On seeing Mont Blanc, I think or some other mountain poets like to write about)
"Yeah...it's a mountain."

"Can I confess that sometimes I have the Darth Vader music in my head as I'm walking around campus?"

"God is supposed to be this ball of light in the sky that speaks to us and sounds vaguely like Charleton Heston."

"I startin noting in the margins those times when I just want to smack Victor [Frankenstein] in the face. And this is one of them."

"Then Victor gets sick again--God, he gets sick at the drop of a hat--would you just DIE already?"

"The only safe woman for Victor Frankenstein is a dead woman."

Tandy: The Roman Empire...you know, gladiators, Russell Crowe, blah, blah, blah.
A student: How dare you.
Tandy: Oh, believe me, I have a thing for Russell Crowe. I am in no way dismissing Russell Crowe.

"There's been a resurgence of Welsh, which is a language of, like, all consonants and 4 vowels. It's all l's and v's and w's."

(On the ending of "Lady of Shallott")
"Then I feel like Lancelot comes in and says 'She's kinda hot...too bad she's dead."



That's all for now...